New Lessons in Forgiveness
Today I went to talk to my friend (and pastor) about a forgiveness issue that I’m struggling with in my life. I had a painful and totally injust situation foisted on me that was more complicated because of my husband’s job as the Ministry Director of our church.
I have had to admit after several months that I’m sick of waking up at night thinking about those people, and what those people said, and what I’d said back to them, and what I wish I could say to them right now. I wanted to be free. Oh yeah, but I also wanted justice.
Today my pastor helped me realize that justice is possible. I could involve the HR Team at our church and pressure my husband into a different action and tell the whole world how I have been wronged. And if I did that, I realize that the cost to other believers in my church would be very painful. Rather than building up the body of Christ, I would be tearing things down - even though I was in the right.
Instead, I considered giving up my rights to justice in this particular case. When I first thought about that, my whole heart rose up in protest. I was doing God’s work when this happened. I have followed biblical principles throughout this whole situation. I deserve to have my name cleared and the situation righted. And - I don’t want to be a doormat.
But the more I thought about giving up my need for justice, and instead bestowing grace, the easier I felt in my mind. I was in control, and the forgiveness would be a gift to myself as much as a gift to the other people. These people were taking up space in my mind and eating away at me, and I wasn’t being the person I wanted to be. Justice, for me, would be kicking out the situation that has imprisoned me.
When I said that, my friend John sighed and said, “Forgiveness is so hard.”
I thought about the sleepless hours and the tears and the anger I’d unleashed on my husband, and I said, ”Unforgiveness is even harder.”
How about you? What have you learned about forgiveness this year?
Published by angelawd on September 25th, 2007 tagged Daily Christianity
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