What was that, again?
I’m one of those moms – the ones who search their teens’ rooms and eavesdrop on conversations. All for the greater good, of course; I’ve never searched a room without probable cause and I only eavesdrop when I have a reason to be concerned. Which is, well, most of the time.
Last night I overheard part of a conversation from Little One’s room that had me pretty worried. I couldn’t hear it all, but the bits I did hear made me more and more upset.
“Believe me, I’m over all that…that part of my life is done…”
(What part?!)
(Inching closer while trying to avoid the squeaky floorboard…)
“I’m not that person anymore…”
(Which person?)
“I know I’ve made mistakes before but I’m taking care of them…”
(What mistakes? Where? What are you doing about them?)
“I know, but that part of my life is changed…maybe you don’t believe me…what do I have to do?”
(Oh Good Lord, don’t do it, whatever it is!)
“…can prove it to you…”
(No, don’t prove anything! Talk to your mother first!)
”…never…you hear me, NEVER!”
(Raising my hand to knock on her door and demand information–)
“I know you don’t believe me but—ARGGHH!—I know you don’t believe—SIGH!—I know you don’t—UGH!”
(Running from the hallway before she busts me for listening at her door…)
Thank God, she was only practicing a part for Acting Class. Now, why couldn’t they give her the part of the sweet-tempered young miss who loves dressing up, singing hymns in church, and bringing her mother breakfast in bed? That would be a real acting job.
Published by angelawd on December 18th, 2007 tagged Mom of Teens
December 18th, 2007 at 9:51 am
hee hee - I’m glad, for your sake, that it was just a script - hee hee
December 18th, 2007 at 10:34 am
Whoa! You got me with that one … hook, line & sinker. LOL
December 18th, 2007 at 10:43 am
She got me, too, Josie! I was really worried for a minute there.
December 18th, 2007 at 11:10 am
Very funny!
I do a little eavesdropping myself. Any advantage we can get as parents is all good!
December 18th, 2007 at 11:43 am
LOL - but I’m glad she was just practicing a part in a play!
December 18th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Ha! Love it! And as a chronic eavesdropper, I thoroughly approve!
December 18th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Wow, we’ve got eavesdroppers coming out of the woodwork today. All the best parents do it.
December 18th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
I just found your website by acident and laughed at your story. But then I started thinking about how my Mom used to go through my things when I was a teenager. I really resented that - it was like she totally betrayed me. You better watch out, your kid might resent you someday. Is it really worth losing her trust just incase you might here her say something when you’re lurking by her door??
December 18th, 2007 at 6:08 pm
It’s a tough call, isn’t it? My view is, snoop, but never tell. If my teen isn’t communicating with me at all and I need to know what’s going on, then it can be justified to snoop. It would be nice if we could have great communication all the time (or even some of the time), but this is reality.
December 18th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
I would have been about to burst if I heard some of those lines. I do keep an eye on things where my teens are concerned. While I don’t hover (too much) or invade privacy without cause, I have no qualms about being a mom when my kids might need it.
December 18th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
You had me holding my breath with fear! Then laughing outloud…or lol! Very cute, very. xo
December 19th, 2007 at 8:50 am
Allison, good point, but I’m only snooping because she’s previously broken trust with me. She’s given me good reasons to listen in on conversations here and there, and to search her things. I wish it wasn’t like that, but it is.
December 19th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Mary, Karen, Stacey, glad I gave you a laugh - and it looks like some of us moms of teens are all in the same situation, huh? You gotta do what you gotta do as a mom.
December 19th, 2007 at 8:58 am
You definitely had me going… and a daughter practicing lines also means she’s dramatic besides being a teen… oy…
I have to say, I’ll be a snoop. I already do here and there because my daughter doesn’t readily tell me everything, so I rely on teachers and friends parents to fill in gaps and then I ask her questions… right now she’ll talk to me about things once I have a rough idea of what’s going on… but she doesn’t readily come forward unless something’s really bothering her. In a few years it may be much less. She’s exerting her independance and I’m trying to make sure she’s making good decisions.
As far as Allison’s comment above, I understand her point and I guess it depends on the way it’s handled. But I had a mom who never snooped. In fact, she was so sure her children were brilliant, it didn’t matter what grades we brought home, she gave us a pass, saying, “you’re bright, you’ll make it up next time.” I was lazy. I could get passing grades without trying and when I found out I wouldn’t get in trouble for it, I stopped doing all but the bare minimum… My fault, yes, but it took me to hit adulthood to realize how far behind where I could be I pushed myself…
So I push my kids to do their best. That doesn’t necessarily mean they have to get A’s, but they have to be trying. My daughter is much like me, she can get B’s without really trying… but I know, eventually the work will get harder and she’ll get lost if she’s not giving it a solid effort. So my rule is, it’s not impressive that you’re bright, that was a gift from God and you didn’t do anything to earn it. What you can be proud of is when you use the gifts you were given to your best ability… anything less is like not saying thank you to God.
I believe that, and right now it works. But she’s only ten. We’ll see where it goes in the next ten years…
If I don’t get a chance to stop back before next week, I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.
January 5th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Wow, what a great post! thanks for submitting to Mom’s Blogging Carnival. You can see your post here: http://www.gogirlfriend.com/reviews/moms-blogging-carnival-4560
Enjoy!