Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
If you are going to a coffee shop meeting with two local businesswomen, don’t wear those gorgeous heels from the thrift shop that were the perfect size when you bought them, but have suddenly become 1 size too large since you brought them home. And don’t stuff the toes with small rolled-up socks so that they fit a little better, just to get through the meeting in a stylish pair of shoes.
Because you will slip and slide all over the ice getting into the restaurant and the pain of your scrunched-up toes amongst those socks will make you want to chew said toes right off your body. And when you walk to the table, one of your heels will fall out of your shoe, leaving the shoe flapping, and there is no way to discreetly slip your foot back into the shoe because the back has folded under your heel. If you are lucky to get to your seat without turning your ankle, falling on the slush-wet floor and spilling burning-hot Tazo Zen Green Tea over your face and disfiguring yourself forever, you will quietly take off your shoes and unkink your toes in relief.
But two hours later when you need to go to the Ladies’ room, you will know that it is not possible to walk in those shoes without risking further injury or imitating Quasimodo’s limping gait, so you will have to pad, sock-clad, across the store and hope that your business partners see you as one of those quirky yet earthy writers who feel more comfortable barefoot.
And when you finally leave the meeting, you will need to let the other ladies walk in front of you, while you try to hold your shoes onto your feet with all the power of your muscular toes until you get into your car and can finally rip them off and throw them against the back window.
So just don’t do it.
How do shoes get a size too big? This happened to my favorite pair of heels, too. I put them on to go with a party dress and just about broke my neck walking from the closet to the kitchen. I ended up wearing a not-very-stylish pair of flats instead.