“There’s a little white spot on Emo Girl today…”
No kidding. My dark Little One has shown a ray of white. Rather than sitting around writing fan fiction and listening to Paramore, she actually did something with friends this weekend. Twice.
Many of you might be thinking that this is normal 17-year-old behavior, and you’d be right. But my girl is a little different…a little darker. Three years ago she was a highly intelligent and sensitive girl. She made friends with an awful group of people who chewed her up and spit her out without any self-confidence. She dumped the group after I saw her boyfriend walking down the street holding her best friend’s hand. And then she wove herself into a black cocoon. She’s been there ever since.
Imagine being seventeen and having no friends. And when I say no friends, I mean the “sitting alone in the lunchroom reading a book” kind of situation. Nobody to exchange Christmas gifts with, nobody to see a movie with her, nobody to go to Friday night’s game with her. A summer vacation spent working and lying in her room watching TV. Here’s a visual for you:
But little by little, I think I am seeing her emerge from her cocoon. She reconnected with junior high friends that avoided her when she was hanging out with a bad crowd.
And Friday night, she invited a friend over for our annual Cinco De Mayo party. It’s hard to act Mom-cool when your heart is bursting with excitement. I tried not to fawn over Amanda, who we’ve known since Elementary school.
Then Saturday night was school prom. Jenn objects to Prom for some sort of philosophical reasons, but went to the after-party at the friends house. And came home right on time. I found out that I am SO out of practice waiting up for my little lamb to return for the night. And I had also forgotten that when they come home from wherever they were, they do not want to stand in the hall and talk about it with you. Sigh.
Maybe things are lightening up for my Little One. Maybe the worst is over. Maybe she’s finally healing. Oh, I keep praying that it is true.
Published by angelawd on May 5th, 2008 tagged Mom of Teens
May 5th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Angela,
Praying that the light continues to spread in your daughter’s life.
May 5th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
It sure sounds like progress. I prayed for healing and more loving friendships for your daughter and strength and wisdom for you.
Thank you again for sharing your struggles, it helps so much to know other moms out there are going through tough times and making it through.
May God be with you both!
May 5th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Lillie and Annette, thank you so much for your prayers. I know they will help my little one!
May 6th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Oh, how sad for her. This is a time in life she should really be enjoying herself too. I pray that she finds her place and will be happy there. But it does sound like maybe she’s over the hump.
May 6th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
I’ll pray for her too, Angela. And honestly, I think socializing is overrated. We can’t control everything they do outside the home, and that is indeed where my daughter (who, incidentally, is gone again AND I hear is engaged, can you BELIEVE THAT) learned she didn’t need rules. We were dumb. xoxo
May 8th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
My son also had “philosophical” problems with the prom, what’s with that? He is doing better in college where he can surround himself with nerds and appear to be cool. THAT I understand. Cross your fingers that he makes grades and can STAY there.