Is there a doctor in the house?
After an incredible week in Charlottesville last fall, I came to terms with a sobering truth: unless I change my ways, I will grow bigger and bigger until the weight of my body crushes the house and when I die they’ll need a piano case and a forklift to get me in the grave. Because they don’t make crematoriums big enough for my fat ass.
And then? I failed to lose weight.
New Years’ Day we finished the leftovers of a feast and then prepared for famine. By Easter? I’d lost 3 pounds. And then I foolishly, CRAZILY agreed to my sister-in-law’s challenge to lose 15 pounds by the 4th of July.
I SEE HER IN 4 DAYS AND HAVEN’T LOST A POUND! Or rather, I did lose some weight, but it promptly found me again.
How much weight can I lose in 4 days? Perhaps on a celery and water fast? Could I heal from self-induced liposuction by Friday? People? Anyone?
Published by angelawd on July 1st, 2008 tagged Just Sayin'
July 1st, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Look at it this way: you’ll make her feel even more svelte.
I heartily recommend Weight Watchers.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:55 am
Oh darlin, I’m right here with you on this. I’ve started walking each night and figure this: It won’t all fall off but if I keep this up every night until it’s too cold, then I will see a difference. Don’t look at the big picture, you know that, though.
And when I have to see someone and I have gained weight, I’ve come to this conclusion: It’s my pleasure to make them feel better about themselves! In fact, it’s almost a mandate! xoxoxo
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:39 am
I’m thinking you can probably lose at least twenty. At least, that’s how many I’m planning to lose by next Wednesday. TOTALLY DOABLE.