This post was going to be completely different.
You may remember that my husband is waiting for his pink slip. Yesterday, he met with the interim pastor and learned that, indeed, two of the three church directors will be laid off. Which ones will be eliminated? No one is saying, yet. Eenie, meenie, miney, mo. And then the pastor suggested that this is a time to celebrate their accomplishments. What did he have in mind? Was he hoping that the sting of losing his job would be eased by the feel-good thoughts of all the good work Joe has done? Or was he thinking the church should throw a going-away party? At this point, my wonderful Christian husband almost told the pastor to fug off. But of course, he did not.
Last weekend I wrote an email to the church council asking them to consider the pain and stress of the directors’ current situation - and then to pray for us and offer us some encouragement and support. I didn’t ask them to alter any decisions; I was just asking them to stop ostracizing us. Since many of the leaders are also my friends, I mentioned how I had encouraged them in similar situations, such as times when they faced layoffs themselves. I pointed out how they could go to their church family for support and I was asking my friends to extend friendship to us at this time.
It’s been five days, and I’ve received exactly one response: one leader said he was going through difficult times, too, and asked me to pray for him.
I can’t believe how much this is hurting. I’ve been a very active member of this church for almost 15 years and I thought I mattered more to the people there. Last night Joe and I talked for hours about the situation and our future, and a bottle of wine and my own inner ugliness took hold of my attitude. Today that ugliness was going to spill all over my blog page. I mean, what good is a blog if you can’t blog about it?
And then I received this email from my friend Becky. She said:
“How exciting to have a new chapter of bigger and better things unfolding. Doesn’t God use these struggles to draw us closer to Him and make us rely completely on him and trust in His will?
I wil be waiting patiently to hear of your future blessings and in the meantime praying for the both of you to have peace and perseverence as he reshapes and prepares you for your future.”
I was not yet ready to praise God. I wanted to hit back at the people who have hurt us. I wasn’t ready to embrace our future.
Then I read my morning blogroll, and came across this amazing post by Men With Pens: Losing It All and Starting Over. It hit me square between the eyes with the message that we are strong, we are powerful, and there are new opportunities for us to grab. Joe and I have abilities that have hardly even been tapped yet. We’ve done amazing things in the past and we can do amazing things again. The doors are open.
Now, if I can get through my day with that attitude, that will really be something to celebrate.
Happy Independence Day, y’all!
Published by angelawd on July 3rd, 2008 tagged Healing, Joyful living
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I’m glad that I could offer you a little bit of hope in tough times. You’ve lived, shared, loved and experienced. You have something to fall back on to keep going.
I also want to say one thing. While not a religious person, I do believe that we get three messages about what we should do and feel concerning the choices we need to make. It feels like the ‘give me a sign’ kind of thing, for lack of better words.
We have a problem or a choice. Then, there’s a small sign that comes. We tend to ignore it because we’re upset or troubled or struggling.
The second time, our gut instinct perks a bit. Coincidence? What is this? Hm. Should I rethink my choice? Is this a message?
And if you get a third sign, and all three signs are pointing in one direction, it’s my belief that it’s usually time to listen to whomever is trying to tell you something.
I’d say you’re on your third sign. Something’s telling you this was meant to be, and probably for good reasons. Embrace the change.
Cheers, and thank you for such a thoughtful post.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:59 pm
You are so wise. I know you’re right in the signs we’re seeing. I also believe we need to pay attention to these signs. Thanks for your encouragement and YOUR thoughtful post!
July 6th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I’m so sorry you guys are going through this. It is so scary when the future is unknown. If you can start to look at it as a new adventure, it may actually become kind of exciting! Maybe this is a good time for the split, anyway. It sounds like the members of the church are becoming so bitter and angry. It is so different from when you first started attending there. Good luck to you guys. You both have so many talents to explore. I know things will turn out awesome for you.
July 7th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Beth, thanks for your support. We really need the encouragement to look past what hurts today and look into the future ahead of us. Darn it, I wish the future would get here quicker!