An experiment in ageism in America
When I came out of the bathroom after getting ready for bed, the Big Guy was lying there looking at the ceiling, tears in his eyes. “What’s the matter?” I asked.
“The church council and the HR team are meeting tonight.” He said. “I just have the sense that I’ve already lost my job, I just don’t know it yet.”
“Do you think you’ll get an answer tomorrow?”
“No. The council will probably take the weekend to think about it and then meet on Monday.”
Joe has to preach this weekend at all three services. I’ve committed to being there because our friends, new Christians, are baptizing their boy on Sunday. And we’ll have to go through these services knowing that there are people in the congregation who know he’s lost his job, whether they’ve made an announcement or not.
He said, “In my sermon, I say that when we’re faced with a big decision, we often tell people we’ll pray about it first. You know, it buys us some time. But I’m going to ask the congregation whether they actually do apply spiritual discipline to the decision - fasting, reading chapters in the bible about people who made similar decisions, deep, meaningful prayer time in which they earnestly seek to hear God’s voice.”
He turned out the light. “Maybe that will encourage the council to seek God’s voice before making their decision Monday night. And then they can come in on Tuesday, and fire me on my 50th birthday.”
We lay there for a long time in our spooning position, not talking, pretending to sleep. Finally I heard Joe’s deep sleep-breathing. But I kept thinking. Mostly angry, bewildered, and helpless thoughts. I asked God to lift me up because I can’t think of a single thing to do in this situation that will honor God or help us out.
And my final thought before sleeping was that Joe and I will soon learn how difficult it is for a 50 year old man to find a middle to upper management position after spending three years in the less-respected non-profit world. So much has been written about ageism in America; we will soon find out how true it is.
What do you think? Have you experienced or heard of any discrimination based on age?
Published by angelawd on July 25th, 2008 tagged Life With the Big Guy
July 26th, 2008 at 2:07 am
It is a difficult situation. We have had several friends dealing with it. But the good news is, they all ended up with something decent! It may take a little longer, but it should work out.
July 26th, 2008 at 4:44 am
Whether or not this is helpful…
I used to really struggle with the story of Job, in the Bible. Whike God restores everything he had lost, I always thought,..”well great, but you still lost the wife and children you had,..God didn’t give them back”. After going through a very bitter divorce, entering the workforce after 18 yrs as a stay at home Mom, and raising two teens mostly alone for the last several years…. I have seen how God “restores” your life. I am in a new time of my life, with an adoring husband, and kids that are headed toward being great adults. My husband can attest that his “career life” really started at age 49,..and has risen to management in just 3 yrs. Neither of usa could have predicted where we are. In looking back , I wouldn’t trade the growth of the struggle for a smooth ride. I know, easy to say, on the other side, but it built character that now helps me understand God HAS restored the blessings I thought I had lost, with even more. While it is not the same as what I thought I needed and wanted, he knew better than me. I will be praying for your family and the faithfulnes needed for days ahead. Your attitude is exactly right,…your character and love (and your husbands willingness to “do what’s right) remains despite your circumstances. You will be alright. Better than alright, you just don’t see it yet.
July 27th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
I woke up this morning thinking about you. I hope it went ok this morning. At the very least, I hope that the baptism was a good experience for you and your friends.
July 28th, 2008 at 12:43 am
I like April’s comment a lot. That is so true. My heart is just breaking for you guys right now … it is so, so hard, but you will definitely be OK. I hope everything went all right today … and please (I know I’m about to sound annoying, but … ) please try not to stress too much! I worry about you! Make sure you’re taking care of yourself.
July 28th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Suburban, I can’t wait for the “getting better” part. I am SO done with this part.
April, you are a very wise lady. That Job story has always been hard from me, too, but I see your point. And I know I need more patience.
Heather, thank you for thinking of me. Whew. The baptism was lovely.
Swishy, thanks for your concern and I PROMISE I spent a lot of time relaxing this weekend. Just what I needed.
July 28th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
I am praying for you today. I don’t have a story about ageism, really, though I think the universal “God never gives you more than you can handle” applies.
My father in law recently lost his job of more than 20 years, and he’s nervously putting out his resume, too, though he’s sixty now… it’s a hard thing, starting over, but I’m hoping to see that it comes with blessings, too.
July 28th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
I wish I had something uplifting to say, I dunno, sometimes life sucks. I do hope that in years you can look back to this time and say, wow, that was the beginning of something really great.
Peace and Prayers…..
July 29th, 2008 at 6:45 am
Angela, I’m just so sorry you’re going through all of this. You’ve been through so much.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Angelawd,
If it helps any, my Dad got the best job of his life at 55. He had to move 2 1/2 hours away, but it really made him happy, fulfilled and covered with a government pension! He had some tough times at first becuse they couldn’t sell the old house and he worked a second job at a convenience store for a little while to cover both mortgages…but it resolved fairly quickly and all was well He retired several years ago and still does some consulting work that arose out of that job. Dad is going on 75 this September and wouldn’t have changed a thing…including the firing…he might never have had the nerve to jump at the dream. I’ll be praying for you all.
Pax Christi, E
August 14th, 2008 at 1:57 am
I see why Stacey thought you and I should chat. In December, my husband lost his job at a church where he was the family pastor. It was very much a dramatic leaving. I’ll be bookmarking your blog and praying for you both. My email is always open for church politic bashing, starting over wonderings, etc.