Peppermint Schnapps - because I have nothing appropriate to say.
I told this story at a church dinner last fall.
When I was sixteen, my friend Cindy and I were best buds and sat next to each other in the hierarchy of marching band seating. I, in fact, was LAST CLARINET which meant I sat right next to first drummer - Cindy. Wait, I didn’t mean to tell that part. Actually I was first clarinet and all the listeners burst into tears of joy whenever I played. And the dog liked to sing along.
The important thing here is that we marched in football halftime shows and rode the “Spirit Bus” to the games. At this point in my life I was nobody’s role model, and one night Cindy had acquired a fifth of peppermint schnapps. She somehow decided that it would be less obvious if the schnapps was in a canning jar instead of its original bottle.
I dunno.
We went to the home team’s little cinderblock bathroom and were having a few drinks when some MOTHERS walked in. They eyed us suspiciously, I’m sure of it. So Cindy took her Mason jar into the farthest stall. When she came out, the moms were still there, so we left. Cindy whispered that she tucked the jar behind the toilet.
After the Mom cloud moved away, I went back to the bathroom to have another drink. I closed the door to the stall and bent down to grab the jar. And what I saw was so disgusting that I was cured from ever drinking peppermint schnapps again.
Someone had put a freshly-used tampon into the jar.
Published by angelawd on September 24th, 2008 tagged Don't read this Mom, My Ex-Life
September 24th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
For the first time ever, I have only one word to say:
Ewwwwww.
(That is a word, right?)
September 25th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Hah! Served you right! Someone was looking out for you!
September 25th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Kalynne, it sure is…and the perfect word!
Mom, you were NOT supposed to read this one.
September 26th, 2008 at 7:37 am
How perfect!
How disgusting!!!
October 8th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Isn’t it amazing how kids have ALWAYS assumed that moms are stupid? I would have loved to have been in that room when those ladies fixed your pepperminty little wagon! LOL!