Archive for the 'Abnormal Motherhood' Category
(Chronologically Listed)
This can’t be happening.
One of Jessie’s friends is getting MARRIED. Today.
This isn’t the first one. Another guy friend got married and has a baby, and I’ve mourned several guy friends who have gone into the military (I’m just sure I’m going to see them on some pathetic TV show about the war in Iraq and they’re hopping along […]
Published by angelawd on May 16th, 2008 tagged Abnormal Motherhood | 3 Comments »
At least she’s not naked.
Another miracle has occurred here in Illinois, and my daughter cleaned her bedroom. Angels wept for joy. So did I. She left this note on the message board on her door:
Once she was finished cleaning, I seized the one moment that her bedroom floor was cleared to shampoo her carpets. You can see how awful […]
Published by angelawd on April 28th, 2008 tagged Abnormal Motherhood | 14 Comments »
What Child is This?
Friends, you’ve stuck with me while I’ve whipped myself into a panic attack over my daughters, who might just become maladaptive bag ladies or one of those weird old women that live in that creepy house down the street with all those cats. Last weekend was further fuel for another bout of Momanxiety when, after a […]
Published by angelawd on March 25th, 2008 tagged Abnormal Motherhood | 13 Comments »
Your daughter might be an Emo girl if…
…she goes through a tube of black eyeliner a week.
…her clothing choices are black, black, or black.
…she starts drawing skulls on everything.
…her friends come over for a marathon “Donnie Darko” movie viewing or a night playing on Livejournal.
…she spends hours in front of a mirror practicing Pete Wentz’s snarl.
…she gets a volume discount on shopping at Hot […]
Published by angelawd on March 18th, 2008 tagged Abnormal Motherhood, Mom of Teens | 12 Comments »
What comes around, goes around.
I am a terrible, cruel mother. Jenn is turning into a juvenile delinquent because I have no rules. I am cheating her out of her car. This was conclusively determined by my ex-husband last weekend, and Jenn, who can smell a better deal from at least one town away, decided that she’d rather live with him […]
Published by angelawd on February 15th, 2008 tagged Abnormal Motherhood, Mom of Teens | 5 Comments »
Let’s all bow our heads for a moment of humility.
The entire Chicagoland area has been buried in a snowstorm of epic proportions, a storm that has the old-timers duly comparing this to the dread Winter of 1981 and talking about their early predictions based on the rings on caterpillars and the direction of flying geese. In fact, Little One had a day and a […]
Published by angelawd on February 8th, 2008 tagged Abnormal Motherhood | 5 Comments »
One reason to password-protect your palm phone
So that your teenager doesn’t pick it up and immediately see the following text message exchange:
Me: Wear the red boxers 2nite?
Me: Hubba hubba!
Joe: OK! I love you!
Little One then had to scrub her eyeballs with bleach-soaked brillo pads to erase the image of such horridness. I’m taking her to a therapist to help her work […]
Published by angelawd on February 5th, 2008 tagged Abnormal Motherhood | 8 Comments »
Teen Tamer
My very first post on my new blog, Teen Tamer, is now published. Teen Tamer is a parenting advice blog on Capessa.com, a marketing venture for Proctor & Gamble. Enjoy my post on what the wonderland of post-teen life looks like.
While you’re at it, have a look at what happens when I let my husband […]
Published by angelawd on January 18th, 2008 tagged Abnormal Motherhood | 2 Comments »
Do I make the “Mom of the Year” list?
Little One and I have received the last of our Christmas presents, ones we have coveted a long time. You may think that needles, blood, and metal are not fun gifts, but we beg to differ. LO is now sporting a ring in her lip and my nose is now adorned with a tiny crystal […]
Published by angelawd on December 29th, 2007 tagged Abnormal Motherhood, Mom of Teens | 7 Comments »
Appliance Graveyard
I find myself almost entirely unable to function today. Why, you may ask? No, it’s not further sickness or the antics of those goshdarn cute teenagers. It’s because my house has become the appliance graveyard.
The body count so far is a humidifier (that I truly need in order to breathe air on this planet), a […]